Pretty in Pink
by Zeng Li
Summary: Following a few undignified personal disasters, Reno goes to the hospital. Pink, however, doesn't seem to be his color...


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"Pretty in Pink"  
by: Zeng Li - _  
Special thanks to Reno-chan and Geri_

Caution: rated PG-13 for language

"Whoo-hoo!!" Reno ecstatically howled as the doctor gave him what would otherwise be known as bad news.

Next to him, Tseng wasn't so amused. He stood looking serious, arms folded across his chest. "If it were any one other than you, Reno, I would've thought that you misheard what the doctor just told you."

"Heard him loud and clear!" Reno smiled ear to ear, maintaining his chipper mood.

"Must be the morphine…" Tseng muttered. Reno just grinned.

"His radius is cracked, and the ulna is broken through and through," the doctor spoke to Tseng this time, pointing to Reno's forearm bones on the x-ray films. "The ulna will have to be set."

"You hear that, Reno?" Tseng tried to get his masochist Turk's attention.

"Morphine…whoo-hoo!!! Ow…!" Reno cheered and thrusted his right arm upwards, making him inadvertently shift his injured left arm. Pain pierced him from the bruised site of his multiple fractures.

"Maybe we gave him too much morphine," the doctor wondered aloud.

"Nah, he's always like this."

The doctor gripped Reno's left wrist as it remained resting on a flat x-ray table. Tseng immediately grabbed hold of Reno's right arm with a vise grip. The doctor eyed him quizzically.

"He gets punchy when someone tries to set his bones," Tseng replied to the absent question.

"Set my bones!?" Reno's tune changed immediately, and he tried to bolt upright in the wheelchair. His displaced bone immediately shifted, painfully halting him in his tracks.

Tseng squeezed his shoulder and pressed down, settling the frisky Turk.

"Easy, son…" said the middle aged doctor, maintaining his grip on Reno's wrist. "This goes quickly."

"No…." Reno whined, his feet starting to squirm.

Quick it was. Tseng restrained his Turk's right fist as the doctor pulled both ends of Reno's forearm to align the bone ends. The shock and pain immediately got Reno to scream, but instinct caused him to let the painful limb remain still as the doctor gently placed it down on the x-ray table.

Stealing a moment while the Turk was stunned, the doctor zapped an x-ray in order to check the alignment of the manipulated bone. Reno quivered softly under Tseng's palms.

"Nothing but a whimpering baby…" the Turk leader provoked the young man.

Reno just groaned and opened one eye.

In just a minute or so, the doctor had the x-ray image that showed proper alignment of the bone. "Because the fracture is located a few inches below his elbow, he needs to be put in a long arm cast."

Tseng just nodded, knowing all along that Reno would be off duty for a while no matter what. He followed as Reno was wheeled into the nearby casting room. Reno, spent from the shock of the doctor setting his bone, pressed his palm to his forehead and was pleasantly silent for a little while.

Reno's arm was eased out of the short sleeve of his hospital gown and set gently on a pillow in his lap. The doctor prepped it with a stockinette and cotton wrap. He turned to his supply closet and found his rather depleted stock of casting materials.

"Hmm…looks like the recent chaos in Sector 7 has left us a little short on supplies…" The doctor took out a few rolls of fiberglass. "Sorry, Reno, but you don't get your choice of colour this time."

Reno, still drained from his recent bone-setting ordeal, lifted his slumping head and looked half-heartedly at the doctor. His eyes went wide, and he was startled to full alertness when he saw that the colour of his cast was destined to be…

"_Pink!?_"

The doctor shrugged. "It's pink or nothing…"

As if prompted, Reno bolted out of the wheelchair and ran out of the room before Tseng could even catch him. Long legs, fueled by adrenaline and determination and Reno was an impossible prey to catch.

"I don't think sooooooo…..!" his voice echoed down the hall way as Tseng and certainly the doctor were losing ground to the fugitive patient.

Reno, barefoot and not seeming to mind it, turned corner after corner, miraculously avoiding doctors, patients, and other obstacles along the way. Tseng was slowed down in his pursuit as bewildered on-lookers stopped and watched the crazy red-head flee. They didn't see him barreling down the hall and thus, Tseng had to do a lot more side-stepping to avoid plowing anyone down.

He lost the fast Turk around a few corners, but the noise of chaos to the right or the left kept the senior officer alert to Reno's whereabouts.

Tseng caught sight of Reno again, unwound cotton wrapping dropping off of his prepped arm as he bee-lined for the main doors to the Emergency Room. The automatic doors to the ER were designed to open fast, but Reno's remarkable pace was nearly too swift even for the opening mechanism.

He narrowly made it through the opening between door panes as they continued sliding open as he bolted through the threshold. Reno ignored the hard grittiness of concrete under his bare feet as he ran across all 3 lanes of the car port and leapt over a short curbing into the main thoroughfare.

It was there that his haste caused him not to see an ambulance passing through, right in his path. His body crashed into the broadside of the medical van. He rebounded off the sheet metal, crushing his already broken arm between himself and the ambulance.

Stunned, he collapsed to the pavement, his broken bone coming unset and sending a blinding surge of agony up his arm and through his morphined-up body.

Tseng was there pretty quickly as the ambulance came to a quick halt a number of meters away. "Stupid Turk…" Tseng muttered, gently touching Reno head. "You're going back and getting pink whether you like it or not."

Fortunate that medical aiders were already nearby, Tseng backed off and let them carefully turn Reno onto his back and lift him onto a gurney.

Back in his room, further examinations revealed a dislocated shoulder and a hairline fracture to his collarbone.

Several times, Reno nearly lost consciousness as he endured not only the manipulating of his shoulder back into its socket, but also the re-setting of his fractured ulna. His body, physically exhausted, slumped in the chair as he was wheeled back into the casting room for another attempt at splinting his broken arm.

He had no more fight left in him as his arm was prepped again and this time successfully bound up in layers of pink fiberglass from his hand to mid-bicep with his elbow bent 90. To help support the bulky cast, and because he was destined to have a sore shoulder for a few more weeks, Reno's arm was supported at his side in a sling harness. Straps circled his forearm and were anchored to a main harness that looped around his opposite shoulder. Another strap circled his midriff to keep the shoulder firmly secure.

Morphine, shock, and pain numbed Reno's mind enough that he did not protest the horribly girly colour that his arm was gonna be stuck in for many weeks. He was wheeled back to the lobby where Tseng had pulled his car around to transport him home.

The other two Turks were made aware that Reno had had an accident and could be out for well over a month. Though the doctor had said six to eight weeks recovery time, Reno's mako-infused body was more likely to heal itself in half the time. But only time would tell.

Heidegger, however, did not want Reno out of the office for long. Apparently in a rather foul mood, he ordered Tseng to have the injured Turk return to the office within 24 hours. The Turk leader felt like telling the tub of lard that perhaps if they had even just one more Turk on staff that they wouldn't be so short-handed when the inevitable injury happened to one of them.

Reno, still not adequately rested and unable to drive himself in, did not show up for work the second morning following his injury. He called Tseng up after 8:00 in the morning. With the other Turks present in his office when Reno called in, Tseng put the call on speaker phone.

"Hey, Reno…! How you doing…?" Elena cheerfully asked, not minding that she was cutting in before Reno had a chance to state the purpose for his call.

"Sucky, I guess," Reno truthfully admitted.

"Aaaw…" Elena cooed. "Sorry we couldn't visit you at home yesterday. We got a bit busy, and besides, I was afraid maybe we'd disturb your sleeping."

"You're not missing much. You know…me in a cast…as usual…"

Tseng hissed a faint nasal chuckle, leaning his elbow on the table and putting his hand seemingly casually to his face. In reality, of course, he was trying to cover up even the slightest smile.

"Your ass is gonna be the next thing in a cast if Heidegger finds out you're not in the office," said Rude.

Tseng cleared his throat and fought his facial muscles trying to prevent a silly grin. "Uh…Reno… I know you're unable to drive, but weren't you going to take a trolley in?"

"Those things can be standing room only. Besides, too many people wanna get their hands on us. I don't really want to be alone in public. In fact, as long as I have this _stupid…_"

Tseng quickly picked up the receiver, deactivating the speaker feature.

"…pink cast on, I don't exactly want to be seen by _anyone!_"

Rude and Elena looked at Tseng as though they were insulted that he cut them out of the conversation. "I can come by and pick you up if you'd like."

"Doesn't Heidegger understand just how severely I'm injured this time…?" Reno's voice was a bit heart-wrenching. Which was good, because it helped extinguish any potential give-away grins that Tseng might accidentally break into.

"I think you've cried 'wolf' a few times too many for him, Reno. Tell you what, if you come in to appease Heidegger, I won't make you do any work. I'll call in the massage therapist for you…"

"No!"

"Why not?"

"She'll see my pink cast…"

"Reno, stop being so gosh-darn sensitive about it!"

Rude and Elena were interested, wishing like heck they could hear Reno's end of it.

"But it's hideous…"

"Heidegger's gonna be on my ass if I don't drag yours in here."

"Good! Then maybe _you'll_ get put in a pink cast also!"

"Reno, for heaven's sake, the massage therapist isn't gonna laugh at your…" he almost said pink, "…cast. You severely fractured your arm. You're just lucky it was a clean enough break that it could be set without needing surgery."

Reno muttered a groan.

"Besides, I'll bet you're sore as hell. Let me come pick you up…"

Reno sighed. "Fine…"

"That's a good boy… See you in twenty, okay?"

Tseng just shrugged at his other two Turks. He slid on his navy blue blazer and walked out of his office, his face finally cracking into a huge grin as he entered the hallway, headed for the parking garage.

Returning to the parking garage a while later with his unwilling patient, Tseng walked around to the passenger's side of his sleek black sports car. He opened the door, but Reno didn't move to get out. He made a muffled whimper.

"Oh, don't start…!" Tseng scolded.

Hesitantly, Reno stepped one foot out but paused.

"Come on… You can throw this over it…" Tseng really wanted to hurry Reno along, so he pulled Reno's blazer out of the back seat and offered it.

Reno didn't take it. Instead, he used his good arm to help pivot himself so he could get out of the car. Tseng helped him, steadying his harnessed arm so he didn't bump it into anything. Reno stood slowly, and Tseng draped the blazer over his shoulders to cover up his casted arm. He nearly laughed doing it, but controlled himself.

Reno held the blazer securely over his pink monstrosity so that as he walked the halls to the Turks' wing, no one would see the source of his current embarrassment. He felt a little more secure once inside the Turks' offices, but he still had his two closest friends to deal with.

By this time, Elena and Rude had gone back to busying themselves with daily work. Tseng ushered Reno into Rude's office first, as it was the first one along the way.

"Hey…" Reno muttered shyly upon facing his partner's desk.

"Reno… You look tired, buddy," Rude's usual stoicism was replaced by his bass-voice variation of compassion.

"Here, Reno… Let me take that," Tseng moved to take Reno's blazer off from where it was loosely draped. His hands were already there as he started speaking, giving Reno no chance what so ever to prevent the inevitable.

"Tseng, no!" Reno turned as his blazer was stripped off, but there would be no getting it back from the Turk leader.

Behind him came an unusual sound.

Reno stopped his protesting immediately, and Tseng went quiet too.

Two nasal hisses…

Reno's head turned slightly.

More nasal hisses, indicative of a belly convulsing in stifled laughter.

Reno turned around fully. What he saw was the face of his partner, corner of the his mouth starting to curl…lips slightly puckered with the strength being used to hold back. Rude finally put his fingers over his mouth, but it did not conceal his cheeks as they rose with the distinctive motion of a smile.

Reno glared and put his good hand to his hip.

Rude's chest shook, but the bald Turk was already too far into it. His nasal laughs became more vocal, staccato bass hicks getting louder and louder.

Tseng eyed Reno, and then Rude, and then Reno again. He, too was smiling, as the pink cast was rather amusing. The one thing, obviously, that would get the two otherwise stoic Turks to react.

Rude was soon actively laughing, his deep laughter filling the room. Holding back was proving to be too much for him, and he whipped off his normally omnipresent sunglasses and pinched his thumb and middle finger into the corners of his eyes. His face broke into a wide open grin, and his eyes moistened with tears of laughter.

By then, he'd totally cracked and was in total hysterics, the pitch of his laughter going up a clear two octaves or so. Tseng let out a few stifled chuckles, but was rather stunned over Rude's unexpected hysterics. Why not enjoy the show.

Reno's face turned bright red like his hair as his partner and best friend was fully involved in side-splitting laughter, pounding his palm on the desk top, a tear escaping from his pinched eyes and glistening in the fluorescent lighting. Rude's body convulsed with laughter in a way probably no one has ever seen before.

"I'm gonna fucking piss my pants…" Rude said, standing up and walking rather briskly to the adjacent private bathroom that each of the Turks had with their offices. He shut the door, but booming hysterics still permeated the wooden door.

Meanwhile, Elena had been alerted to Rude's office by the rather unexpected sounds emanating from it. Reno heard her footsteps walking in, and he turned sharply at her with a look to kill.

She stopped dead in her tracks, but his otherwise frightening glare, plus the sight of the pink cast covering his arm, was too much to keep her in disciplined control. She dropped to her knees and held her belly as she exploded into a fit of laughter that evoked an immediate spill of tears out of her eyes.

Tseng, too, had finally succumbed to the humor in Reno's appearance and had cracked. Rude staggered out of the bathroom and fetched his sunglasses before the focus of the humor shifted to him. He still laughed ardently as he dropped back down into his leather chair.

Had the shoulder-securing harness not kept his arm immobilized, Reno would've cocked his left fist back and slugged each and every one of them with the hard, rough surface of the cast that reached his knuckles.

Injured or not, though, there was one thing that Reno _never_ left his home without.

His nightstick, fully extended and crackling with Lightning energy, slammed down on Rude's desk right in front of him.

Rude's laughter let up a bit but did not cease, as did the laughter from the two behind him. Reno's angry eyes just glared across the mahogany desk and bored into his partner. The nightstick continued to buzz softly as it was firmly pressed onto the desk top.

"Reno…" Rude fought to control himself, sucking in his potential laughter as he got out of his seat and moved to Reno's side of the desk. "I'm sorry, kid…" Rude's hand clapped him gently on his good shoulder.

Reno released some tension from his body, and lifted his nightstick off the desk.

The laughter finally died down behind him, too.

"You fucking jerks…" Reno's face was still beet-red.

Rude's large hand rubbed his partner's shoulder. He moved aside as Tseng and Elena drew nearer.

"Sit down, Reno… Relax…" Tseng guided him to sit in Rude's comfy desk chair. Reno eased himself into the soft leather. "Some day you'll look back and have a good laugh over this as well."

"Besides…" Elena was about to dig a figurative grave for herself, "I think your pink cast is pretty…!"

"_Pretty!?_ If you like it so damn much, I can arrange to have _you_ put in one, too!" Reno's hand still wielded his nightstick.

"What the hell's the big deal anyway?" asked Elena.

"_I don't like PINK!!!_" Reno snapped. "Fucking clashes with my hair anyway!"

Elena giggled. "Gee, Reno, the one and only time you actually _care_ about having a fashion dilemma."

Reno bolted out of the chair, his nightstick flashing in the overhead lighting, but Tseng had the weapon wrenched out of his hand before he could do any damage with it.

"Enough of this childish behavior, Reno," Tseng collapsed the rod to its compact form and pocketed it. "Just go to your office and relax. Eat a jelly donut or something."

Reno sulked off, happy to be out of eye-shot. All those mean stares… All those stifled giggles… On his way, Reno slammed a fist into the wall, luckily breaking just the drywall and not his fist. He kept walking, not bothering to stare back at the hole he'd just created.

The next hour crept by. Tseng didn't bother checking up on Reno, so the Turk made no effort what so ever to do the slightest bit of work.

"Fucking only reason I'm here is so Tseng's ass doesn't get reamed by that stench-wad, Heidegger…" he grumbled, trying yet again to produce neat letters on a piece of paper using his off-hand to write. He just couldn't get the hang of wielding a pen with his right hand, a feat that some 90 of the population had no problem doing every day.

He brushed a finger tip along the rough surface of the pink fiberglass mesh now solidified around his arm to hold the bones in place so his fractures could heal. Okay, so by itself, the colour wasn't _that_ bad. Just in context of encircling the arm of a notoriously feared member of the ShinRa elite, it didn't seem right.

He tapped the barrel of his pen against the cast.

"Damn thing…"

To break an arm that bad in a legitimate scuffle with the bad guy was insult enough, but to have broken it doing something as _stupid_ as falling down a flight of stairs… Then his morphined-up antic at the hospital adding a busted up shoulder to his list of injuries…!

He was in no mood to recall the past 24 hours of his life, nor had he the desire to live the next couple weeks either. His arm throbbed, and he wanted so much to massage the pain away, but the impenetrable cast made even such minor comforts nothing but a distant dream.

Which of course got his shoulder throbbing as well. Arm harnessed against his side as it was, the shoulder still managed to make a pest of itself, radiating pulses of burning and discomfort in the rest of his arm.

"Son of a bitch…" he said, chucking his pen aside and grabbing a pair of scissors off his desk. He placed the scissors with the jaws open so that they 'bit' the edge of the cast as it circled around his knuckles. No way…he knew. Not only were they left-handed scissors, but his right hand would not have the adequate strength to snip them through the layers and layers of fiberglass mesh firmly encircling his arm.

If it were _that_ easy to get a cast off, they wouldn't make those buzzy little saws to cut through them at the hospital. He could vividly recall the tickling vibration that accompanied the cast saw as it safely sliced away at the wretched splints he'd been put in over the years for various injuries.

He opened his desk drawer and pulled out his rarely-used side arm pistol. He aimed it at the cast, all set to cock it back, but reason told him the fiberglass mesh would not stop the bullet alone. He shoved the gun away in disgust. Well, it was the _thought_ that counted.

His finger tapped the desk top impatiently. Sitting around doing nothing until it was time to have the cast removed was not going to be enjoyable.

Finally, he stood up. The faintest of thoughts compelled him forward before the rest of his mind realized the mission he'd assigned himself. He was spotted on his way out by Tseng.

"Where are you going?" Tseng asked, obviously noting that Reno's pace and direction was aimed at leaving the office.

"Out. I'll be right back…" The double doors leading to the main tower parted and Reno disappeared.

Alone in his office again following his excursion to the maintenance shop, Reno plugged in his bounty. He grinned, realizing that petty theft was getting all too easy since he became a Turk. Hardly any one ever opposed him.

He lifted the jigsaw in his off-hand, it's weight and balance a bit difficult to manage any bit of perfect control with. He finally stabilized the saw blade against the hard pink shell that insulted him every second that the clock ticked by.

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Okay…he told himself. _Not too deep or you'll cut your skin…and Tseng'll find out…_

Heck, he was gonna find out anyway if he spotted Reno without the glaring pink beacon clinging to his arm.

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Okay, here we go…!

The door to Reno's office was pushed open right as he flicked the jigsaw on. The 'intruder' startled him, and caused his right hand to slip the blade off the fiberglass and buzz noisily in open air. He flicked the unit off and turned sharply to the visitor that distracted him so badly. Of course, he tried to hide the power tool under his desk.

"Give it," Tseng held his hand out as he stood opposite Reno.

"But…"

Tseng walked around Reno's desk and unplugged the jigsaw from the wall. Reno knew he was in no dexterity position to evade Tseng and slouched as the senior Turk confiscated the tool.

He half-listened as his boss gave him instructions regarding a simple report that he could surely handle with just one usable hand. The other half of his brain thought about all the other neat stuff that the maintenance shop had that he could use.

Tseng left his office, and Reno was not far behind, sneaking out again. Or so he thought…

Tseng shook his head, he and Rude looking at the closed circuit camera monitor in the senior Turk's office. "I wonder what he's gonna come back with this time," said Rude.

Tseng shook his head. "You know, I give him a few pieces of paper and he moans and groans to me that he can't do it…he can't write as neatly with his right hand…he would rather be home resting… Then he wanders off and gets handy-man tools…"

"I'll go wait for him," Rude said, leaving his boss' office.

Reno headed back to the Turks' offices with more plunder. _This'll be a little tougher to sneak in with, but hopefully won't make as much noise as a power tool._

He carried a rather over-sized hack saw in one hand as he approached the doors to the offices. He let the electronic eye see him and slide the double doors open. He hopped to the side and peeked in to be sure the coast was clear. Not spotting any of his fellow Turks, he stepped inside.

Rude, standing in the blind spot to the side of the door, reached out and snatched the hacksaw out of Reno's hand before the young Turk even noticed he was there.

The bald Turk shook his head, holding the tool out of Reno's immediate reach.

Reno sighed, slouched, and shuffled his feet pitifully back to his office.

He decided to do Tseng's stupid little busy-work project just to pass the time before making another attempt at raiding the maintenance closet. That is…if he could remember what it was that Tseng told him to do with it. Halfway through, he realized that the maintenance closet was singing his name like a beautiful Siren out at sea. There were just _so many_ wonderful, usable things in there that could eradicate his awful pink monstrosity.

"I'm going to the café for lunch!" Reno announced as he left the offices again, perhaps a little too obviously.

Unfortunately, Elena came out of her nearby office. "Oh, I'll come along with you! I'm hungry too and, well…you may need some help, no?"

Reno's eyes narrowed and his cheeks blushed. Elena gently entwined her arm around his good one and nearly clung to his side.

"And if anyone laughs at your pink cast, I'll kick 'em in the teeth for ya!"

"I'm plenty capable of kicking people in the teeth right now. I still have both my feet you know…" He tried to politely get rid of her, but his rather empty stomach seemed to also relish the thought of being fed. Outnumbered, Reno continued on to the café instead of the maintenance shop like he'd originally intended.

Reno just ordered a sandwich to avoid the impossible task of handling silverware utensils with any kind of dexterity. He shook the humiliating thought out of his mind of Elena having to cut his dinner up for him and realized that he'd probably be living on sandwiches and 'finger-food' for quite some time.

Unless…he gets the horrid pink cast off!

He and Elena walked back to the office, but nearing the double doors, Reno told her to go on…he'd be right back.

The maintenance shop was used to Reno's intrusions. The blue-collar staff pretty much ignored him as he walked through, by now aware that the Turk was responsible for several tool disappearances.

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Something smaller…more compact… He checked out the very extensive store room. Finally, he pocketed a single bottle marked all over with warning labels and skulls and crossbones.

He returned to the Turks offices, the bottle well hidden between his harnessed arm and his side.

"Hey, Rude!" he said, smiling and waving a hand at the Turk hidden once again in the blind spot next to the entrance door.

Rude took a step forward, but he didn't see anything in Reno's hand to confiscate. He scratched his bald head as Reno walked on.

Reno returned to his office and sat at his desk, pushing the mini project Tseng gave him aside. "Ha ha…! Corrosive!!" he said aloud to no one, eyes scanning the warning labels all over the bottle. "Will melt this bastard away and not make a sound doing it!"

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And, I can pour it with my off hand without needing perfect dexterity…

He had to place the bottle between his thighs to hold in while his right hand pushed down and turned the child-proof cap.

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Careful…this is only supposed to remove a pink cast from your arm, not dissolve your wiener into womanhood.

He held the top of the bottle to the pink fiberglass around his forearm and poured, allowing the fluid to run over his cast and drip onto the floor. Oh well…he'd worry about the carpet later.

"Huh…?" he stopped pouring half way through and sniffed the air. He looked at the bottle and realized that it had a hand-made label stuck to it that read "detergent". The cleaning agent dripped harmlessly off the fiberglass. "Oh, man! Not only is my pink cast still there, but now it's got that pine-fresh smell!"

Disgusted and perhaps needing more time to scheme something that'll work flawlessly, Reno went back to the stupid little project that Tseng had given him two hours ago.

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If I don't finish this, he's gonna come in here wondering why and probably thwart my next attempt to get rid of this thing…

The project didn't take very long to finish once he devoted his mind to it. He clawed the papers up into his usable hand and walked them across the hall to Tseng's office.

The senior Turk was busy at his laptop computer. "Just place them over there," he made a hand motion and seemed engrossed in his work. Tseng paused and sat a bit more upright. Reno froze, too. "What's that smell?" Tseng asked.

"Uh…that's me, sir." Reno admitted, the aroma of the household cleaner still invading his sinuses.

Tseng turned and made strange eyes at him. "Why do you smell like pine-scented detergent?"

"I, uh…, spilled it on myself by accident."

"Onto your cast?"

Reno couldn't hide the darker coloured area on his cast that had gotten wet. "Uh, yeah. I was trying to burn it off with acid, but guess I grabbed the wrong bottle…"

"Reno, if you hate wearing casts so much, why don't you stop doing stupid stunts that get you injured?"

"It wasn't a stupid stunt! I…well, you know…I…"

"Fell down the stairs?"

Reno's cheeks went red. "Yeah. Look, here's your silly little project."

"Just put it down there. I'm too busy right now to give you anything else to do." Tseng turned back to his computer screen.

As Reno placed the file and papers on Tseng's desk, he noticed his confiscated nightstick was sitting right there within reach!

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Ah, why didn't I think of this sooner!?

His eyes on Tseng, Reno placed the file on the desk top, silently swiping his nightstick as his hand retracted. He pocketed his beloved weapon and strolled out of the office.

He retreated back to his office, the solution to his problem right at hand.

"Ha ha ha! My trusty nightstick!" he made sure it was charged up and ready to deliver a powerful punch to the horrible girly pink cast.

He raised his right arm, hand wielding his charged weapon. "Die, bastard!"

The electro-mag rod struck the cast and delivered a massive electrical shock…which Reno was in no way insulated from. He yelled loudly as the shock ravaged his nerves and was unconscious before he hit the floor.

Reno woke up, unaware of how much time had passed. The setting his eyes opened to was familiar, yet was not his office back in the Turks' wing of the Shinra Tower.

Tseng was staring down at him.

The soft mattress under him…the smell of disinfectant…the x-ray light boxes on the wall…

"The hospital!?" Reno said.

"Yes, Reno. Do you remember what happened?"

"Uh…well, I was here, but wasn't that a few days ago…? Yeah, cuz I remember trying to get this ugly pink cast off my arm."

"Yes. But you're here again," said Tseng. "You sure were trying to get your cast off. Apparently the last thing you tried was your electro-mag rod."

Reno grinned. "Yeah! Swiped it off your desk. Guess I gave myself a nasty shock with it though, huh?"

"You sure did… I found you in your office after hearing your horrific scream. You were lying on the floor, your right arm bent in ways nature never intended."

Reno took a moment to put two and two together. He could feel the cast on his left arm…the one he'd spent the day trying to get rid of. When he tried to move his _right_ arm…he couldn't. And that was because, when he looked down, it was encased in…

"_Another pink cast!?!?! ARRRRRRRGH…!!!!!!!_"

****

THE END

© 2004, written by Zeng Li. Special thanks to Geri and Reno-chan for inspiration and helping brainstorm this story. And also a pat on the back for Reno-chan for getting a pink cast put on her broken wrist when there were_ so_ many other nice colours to choose from. Acknowledgement also goes out to Squaresoft whose characters I borrowed to write this fic, which is for entertainment purposes only and is not for sale.


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